IS OLD FRIENDSHIP GOLD ?

Yes, I am a woman.
Yes, I am prone to unreasonable expectation out of any and every relationship.
Yes, it takes a lot of sentiment and emotions to analyse an issue for me.
And yes, it takes very little to push me to tears.
(Oh yes, I'm into this Forum because Muthu is a very good friend of mine ---- but please don't hold it against him; save for this one aberration, poor dude is extremely wise)

I now call upon all the logical, unemotional, and practical "MEN" to guide me as to what their response would be under the circumstances I shall presently explain.
Let us say, you have had a good friendship going with your colleague/room-mate/class-mate/and the like. While the going was good, you shared several things without a second thought - starting from comb to clothing; had several "spirited" discussions and confided some private thoughts as well;what may be termed as a"close friendship" was under way.
Then something happens: it could be as terrible (er..terrefic) as "marriage", or as trivial as new job/place. You start drifting apart and a couple of years simply go by.... a prolonged period of "silence".
Should one try and revive it? or, should time be allowed to bury it naturally?
Ofcourse it couldn't have been a great friendship to begin with -- couldn't have snapped otherwise; say not close enough to consciously nurture it; but nonetheless close enough when you were in the thick of it.
So the question is : is it worthwhile? if yes, how? and can it regain its old glory?

While I solicit wise Solomons to respond, smart Sheebas are also welcome to express their views.
Awaiting eagerly for enlightenment.

Hi,

Hope a response from a logical, (100%)unemotional (outside), (10%)emotional (inside) and practical person is fine with you. if so read on...

Good Memories, Warmth & comfort you had during that friendship is the reason you want to give a try to revive the relationship. From that perspective your friendship deserves a worthy try to revival. But you must give a try only if you are fully aware of the realities & ready to face them:

• Good one first: Your friend might reciprocate the same amount warmth & comfort as old days... In this case all well

• Your friend may not be able to share the same level of rapport due to his/her more demanding situations though he/she wish to share. (Most likely to come back later)

• Your friend may not feel the same rapport since time & life had ensured they have moved on

If you are ready to face any of these irrespective of the end result you can go ahead right away. But if you think that will have an impact on you emotionally then better don't do it.

How to revive? Not sure. You are the best judge. But what I would do is this:

One to one personal catch-up over a cup of coffee works better than Phone conversations/Email conversations. Yeah it gives an opportunity to understand the comfort level of the other person & take it forward accordingly.

If that person was ex-roomie or classmate then it will be a good idea to start the talk about those passions that you shared in those days and what they have done towards it?

And if that person was ex colleague its better to refrain from talking anything about individual achievements after each other moved on.

All the best. Hope I made some sense with my reply. Let me know.

You were certainly well qualified to offer; and, that was certainly a well thought-out counsel offered.
Your analysis of the 3 possible course any "revival" exercise could take was superb, to say the least. I am specially touched by your very sensitised advice to show restraint while updating ex-colleagues. So sincere and so well meant , even while advising little known person !I appreciate your integrity that you brought into the interaction.
As you say, a one-to-one talk may help;becauseour meeting each other in get-togethers didnot have the desired impact.The ice is broken but the relationship is still frosty.
E-mails/tele-contacts didnot build the the much needed mutual confidence of a friendship.Since we live in different cities (planets?!), it will be a while before I can confirm whether my friend has moved on(off), or if there is yet scope to reconnect and resurrect the bonding.If the latter happens(!!!), will let you (and the whole world) know that your tip paid off.
I am glad that there is atleast one Knight in Armour to come to the rescue of the damsel in distress. Thank you, Sir Gallahad;may your tribe increase!